Letter to Jean

To my team leader Jean,

I'm suffocating again. I know it's friday night, and with all the reason to be joyous, my mood has taken an all day low now. Painted on my face was the weary look that would shrug off all the euphoria of what is supposed to be the best night of the week. Yet, i suffer in silence.

Perhaps, I'm just expecting too much out of myself. Pushing myself beyond my limits, and off my limits. I just feel like a spring that has lost its potential elasticity after a period of time shouldering the weight of life. The spring that somehow used to recoil whenever there is a chance to do so is now just non other than an ordinary coiled metal, staying put at its original position.

I could still recall the upbeat mood after we headed home after a long days work in the ward. It was so relaxing and the sky seems to be smiling at us, bathing us with its warm rays that penetrated into our hearts and minds. Now the darkish night sky seems to overpower that upbeat mood and send me into a realm of depression and uncertainty. I'm starting to worry about the weekend ahead. I started to notice everyone burying their heads in the midst of books while I literally enjoyed life by sleeping and shopping.

On paper, i have the whole weekend to catch up on my books. However, practically, things do not always go the way you want them too. There is an AGM looming ahead on Sunday morning, and perhaps some unseen catastrophes that will ruin my remaining afternoon, or perhaps even Saturday if I'm so damn unlucky.


So leader, am i heading towards the right direction or am I just simply swerving and drifting away from the right track. If the former, please inspire me. If the latter, please guide me back. I'm afraid I was just thinking too much and worrying too much, in a disorder called depression.


Your Surveyor
Yik Ping
832pm