Sunday, October 13, 2013

Being grateful

[Disclaimer: Be prepared to be immersed by boredom as the whole article is just thoughts and feelings of the author for the past couple of months. Kindly divert if you hate wordy passages]

And so I'm again in front of my dull laptop, greeted by the windy Sunday afternoon. The sky is cloudy and only the moving blades of the ceiling fan coupled by the rustling sounds from the leaves make up the rest of the quiet afternoon. Life perhaps, hasn't been to kind to me for the past couple of months, which ended up in this blog site turned cobweb corner.

Almost three months has passed since I ever set my foot into this personal area of mine. From where I left off last time, I had endured the Paediatrics posting as well as the Obstetrics and Gynaecology (O&G) posting being still alive. Tomorrow marks the start of my second week in family medicine posting. Oh and just to recap, it is 23 more weeks from the Professional Exam in end of March. Pretty fast isn't it?

My posting in Family medicine requires us to be attached in the primary care clinics, namely the Health Clinics (or Klinik Kesihatan or KK in Malay) in Batu 9, 14, and Primary Care Centre of PPUKM. There, we will be exposed to the set ups of a goverment clinic which handles all the cases ranging from Orthopedics to Paediatrics and O&G. You name it they have it. Now, the interesting part of this posting, and which all final year students are looking forward to is non other than the free time allotted for us throughout the 7 weeks. The workload is lighter and we have more leisure time of our own. Be it self study or lazing around, mind you. But one thing is certain. I feel pretty good with loads of time in my own hands.

Having an inquisitive mind certainly does me no harm but my thoughts, you see, tend to wonder around and think of all sorts of nonsense. For instance, I have had this sudden gush of emotion on telling myself to be grateful to all happenings now and then. Strange enough, it does not necessarily have to have a trigger factor to stimulate those lines of thinking. Out of the sudden, when i reflect on my life on what it has given me (of course I have a hand in making some decisions but sometimes surprises spring out while bad things set in as well), I have, like always, never failed to be amazed on what I possess and am undertaking currently.

To zoom out for a birds eye view. I have 23 more awesome weeks to the final professional exam. Pass that exam and I will be granted a M.D. (UKM) degree of medicine. And hey, I'm a trainee doctor ready to serve the nation. When stumbling upon the juniors of year 1 to 3, seeing them study and struggle past the current as they swim along and cope with all types of stress, I'm proud to say that I have actually survived well to get to this place. Final year medical student of UKM. Surely that is something to brag about but instead, flashes of memories tend to surface in my mind recalling the days when I was also a newbie to the field of medicine just reminds me to be humble as usual and keep it going. Arrogance might just be the roots of all evils. The journey undertaken to reach this moment isn't an easy one, but likewise, is not a mission impossible too. In fact, I can't wait to get even further - start my housemanship i.e. junior doctor in lay. This might not be pretty well illustrated in UKM Medical Centre (UKMMC) but when you look around at the nurses I have encountered in the KK's as well as the national blood bank (yea, I just lost some 450ml of blood there - 2 hours ago), they are just some kind and friendly bunch of people, always smiling and being helpful. No doubt there are spoilers, but fortunately, they make up the minority of the population. For the first time in my life, I have never been so excited to get right down to work. But I have to wait for at least 7-8 more months. Whatever, at least I'm looking forward towards things =)

Life couldn't have been better with me having a car to get around. Yea and there's a motorcycle too. It was supposed to be shared among my brother and me but for this family medicine posting, I will be possessing both the vehicles for some 4 more weeks haha! The car has been accompanying me for almost 2 years - 1 year 11 months to be exact. And I have always taken is for granted. With the car, I am easily accessible to many far places that are pretty beyond the reaches of the motorcycle. I do not have to wait for the bus as early as 715 in the morning and wait till cows come home to return to KL from Slim River when I was there for my district posting. I am able to ferry my loved ones for example in Petaling Jaya or get home with them and reaching my doorstep back in Penang. The car has been a good and faithful slave. Never showed tempers by breaking down, no matter how hard I push it. I had been on 135km/hour as well as a total of a thousand kilometers in the space of 36 hours. It had never broke down or given me problems. Indeed, I can just grab the keys and expect it to hit the roads anytime and anywhere. Of course, it is my dad's car but I have been so bonded to it that it has been more than just a friend to me. The days where I used to get into it and drive off were gone. Now were days where I treat it with care by not straining it and taking good care of it.

My family members were another piece of puzzle that completes my life. My caring parents, siblings and understanding partner. I feel for them at times when I was so damn busy that I was unable to respond to their calls and text messages, as if I went missing for some couple of days. But eventually they stood there being able to understand my situation and always being the pillar of support. Emotionally and spiritually. I start to feel for my parents - who are alone at home as all 3 siblings are in Cheras, PJ and Kampar respectively. The words of the O&G specialist will be always etched in mind forever - your parents are getting old, if possible, please work somewhere nearby and always go home to visit them. True enough. It has been more than 4 years since I left home and headed to KL to pursue my dream as a medical doctor. In the meantime, my parents were leading their own lives at home. The times that I spent with them for the past few years was so little except for the routine phone calls and long semester break (which was not that long either- 6-8 weeks). I start to miss them. My mum and dad who have developed wrinkles and strains of white hair. At times, I will think of them whenever I watch videos on Facebook that portray family bondings. Just wanna hug daddy and mummy so much and thank them for all they have given me for the past 24 years. When I put myself into their shoes, I can feel how much they have put in, the sacrifices they have made and the hardship to raise a child to be a grown up, preparing to earn my first pot of gold in less than one years time.

I feel blessed, and feel wonderful. Perhaps the gratefulness is way beyond what words could express. Thanks to everyone who appeared in my life. Who scolded me, shunted me, taught me and laughed with me. Because of you, I am what I am today =)


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