The 'not chosen' one

       So results (for professional exam MD UKM 2014)  were announced today. Passed.

     Yet the gloomy mood within me continues to churn out negative feelings. Simply, I aimed higher. This post contains strong elements of arrogance and might cause displeasure to readers, so please shun away if you have to. You are about to witness the true bare me.

       To say that I came here to aim for a pass in medical school would be a lie. I hoped to be the best, be the strongest among the strongest. However, I seem to come awake during my second year where I only aimed for a high average pass. But, it was the confidence during my final year that spurred me to aim for the highest honour in medical school again. Yes, greed has been weeded into human beings since ancient times. And this time round, greed has possessed my soul. Riding on the good luck through the clinical OSCEs made me dream and dream. Although I had to admit regarding the small fumble during my paediatrics station, I still held high hopes.

      It was a kinda weird situation actually. To aim for the best, yet feel unfit for the best. I know my limitations, my shortcomings in the field of assessment. I even wondered at some point of time that, whether I'm fit to be called the 'distinction student' given my poor depth of theory knowledge. Perhaps, the theory exam has pulled my leg. Believe me, it always does. 

      Leave that aside. Nevertheless, I should be grateful to all who helped me accomplish this. My family members, my girlfriend, my teachers and senior doctors from all hospitals, and my friends. If I were to dedicate my success to one lecturer, it would be Gynaecologist Dr Yulianty from the O&G department. This special lecturer simply sparkled me to open up, get out into the real clinical world and learn to taste failure. It is true failure where you understand what success means. Thanks for failing my continuous assessment for my good. 

       So, ahead lies the long and winding journey of medical career. The pass in medical school simply marks the journey that requires determination and perseverance. Bless me, and pray for me, that I will be a doctor who treats for good. Next time Yik Ping, next time... 

This book was passed down to me for a reason. Now I'm passing it down for the similar reason. As for me, I was simply just the 'not chosen' one~

YikPing

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